Title: I'll take a quiet life
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG equivalent
Fandom: Twin Peaks
Characters: Norma Jennings, Hank Jennings, The Log Lady, Harry Truman, Laura Palmer, Big Ed Hurley, Agent Cooper, Shelly Johnson.
Pairings: Norma/Hank, Norma/Ed
Genre: gen
Spoilers: vague spoilers for season 2
Disclaimer: I don't own "Twin Peaks" and I won't own "Twin Peaks" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: about 3500
Status: one-shot, finished
Author's Note: written for matrithon, for the prompt "Norma Jennings, recipes"
Summary: Seven conversations that Norma has had over seven different foods.

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Title: sometimes I get overcharged
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG equivalent
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Wash/Zoe
Genre: het, I guess.
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I don't own "Firefly" and I won't own "Firefly" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 136
Status: drabble, finished.
Author's Note: written for the whedonland ficfest challenge for iulieki who wanted Wash/Zoe and something romantic.
Summary: The way she sometimes hummed to herself as she undressed for bed.

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Title: this one just came out of the swamp
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG equivalent
Fandom: Firefly
Character: River
Genre: gen
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I don't own "Firefly" and I won't own "Firefly" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 113
Status: drabble, finished
Author's Note: written for the whedonland ficfest challenge for trialbymagic who wanted River/insane powers
Summary: It wasn't that she meant to dance with death, but that they were sewn up together like patchwork.

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Title: who's got the loneliest feeling
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG equivalent
Fandoms: Firefly, Battlestar Galactica
Characters: River Tam, Leoben
Genre: gen
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I don't own "Firefly" or "Battlestar Galactica" and I won't own "Firefly" or "Battlestar Galactica" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 1261
Status: one-shot, finished.
Author's Note: written for the whedonland ficfest challenge for killmotion who didn't really get any of her prompts filled.
Summary: "I'm the soul," River stated. "I possess the body. They cut me out of there, and I got unstuck and can't fit back in again."

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Title: I could burst a million bubbles
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG13 equivalent
Fandoms: Firefly, Doctor Who
Characters: River Tam, Jack Harkness
Genre: gen
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I don't own "Firefly" or "Doctor Who" and I won't own "Firefly" or "Doctor Who" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 1203
Status: one-shot, finished.
Author's Note: written for the whedonland ficfest challenge for fall_away_from who wanted River, a crossover, and something inspired by a Beatles song.
Summary: Jack took her to his big, fancy house, where the neighbors stared at her in the way that signified that he often took girls to his house and had them stay over and it wasn't so that they could get brain examinations.

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Title: that's when you see sparks
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG equivalent
Fandom: Beauty and the Beast (Disney movie)
Pairing: Belle/Beast
Disclaimer: I don't own "Beauty and the Beast" and I won't own "Beauty and the Beast" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 1778
Status: one shot, finished.
Author's Note: written for the whedonland ficfest challenge for xmaidelx who wanted Belle/Beast in a library.
Summary: It was the Beast, of course, and his face looked upset in the way that it usually turned before he started bellowing. "You missed dinner," He stated, curt.

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Title: A Plague
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG13 equivalent
Fandom: Kings
Characters: King Silas
Genre: gen
Spoilers: set post-finale, but does not spoil anything
Disclaimer: I don't own "Kings" and I won't own "Kings" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 1218
Status: one-shot, finished.
Author's Note: written for the whedonland ficfest challenge for kiki_miserychic who wanted Kings and zombies. thanks to bluerosefairy for the awesome beta.
Summary: And our King did cry out to all of his people, "You must destroy the head, my people! Take your fire and hail, bullets and bats to the heads of these corpses and rid them of their possession!" (An excerpt from the Book of Silas)

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Title: idiot, slow down, slow down
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG13 equivalent
Fandom: Alias
Pairing: Jack/Irina
Genre: curtainfic
Spoilers: vague spoilers for all seasons
Disclaimer: I don't own "Alias" and I won't own "Alias" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 2056
Status: one-shot, finished.
Author's Note: written for the whedonland ficfest challenge for musical_junkie who wanted Jack/Irina and five things
Summary: There was something weird about them, and they were bunchy and wouldn't open or close, just hung glumly around. (Five times that Jack and Irina bought curtains together, and one time they just said, "Fuck it.")

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Title: barks at no one else but me
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG13 equivalent
Fandom: Dollhouse
Characters: Adelle, Topher
Genre: gen
Spoilers: epitah one
Disclaimer: I don't own "Dollhouse" and I won't own "Dollhouse" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 1379
Status: one-shot, finished.
Author's Note: written for the whedonland ficfest challenge for aka_katya who wanted Adelle with Topher
Summary: "Topher, you can't quantify the human soul in mathematical terms," Adelle said.

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Title: this one's optimistic
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG equivalent
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Characters: Faith, The Mayor
Genre: gen
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I don't own "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and I won't own "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 1140
Status: one-shot, finished.
Author's Note: written for the whedonland ficfest challenge for lar_laughs who wanted Faith being bitchy.
Summary: On the fourth hole, she managed to get a hole-in-one, and Boss clapped for an embarrassingly long time and just kept smiling until she couldn't keep from blushing because it was so weird to have somebody so happy over something so stupid.

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Title: dinosaurs roaming the earth
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG13 equivalent
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Characters: Faith, The Mayor, Giles
Genre: gen
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I don't own "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and I won't own "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 2006
Status: one-shot, finished.
Author's Note: written for the whedonland ficfest challenge for duh_i_read who wanted Faith and what would happen if the Mayor ascended.
Summary: It was true that victory tasted just like Easy Mac.

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Title: In Limbo
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG equivalent
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Characters: Seelix, Cally, Racetrack
Pairings: none
Genre: gen
Spoilers: up to season 4, episode 3
Disclaimer: I don't own "Battlestar Galactica" and I won't own "Battlestar Galactica" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: about 4600
Status: one shot, finished
Author's Note: written for galpalficathon for the prompt "Racetrack, Seelix, and Cally / baby-sit"
Summary: After surviving an apocalypse, moral ambiguity is a luxury.

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Title: Like Spinning Plates
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: smut (adult)
Fandom: Heroes
Characters: Angela Petrelli, Adam Monroe
Pairings: Angela/Adam
Genre: smut
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I don't own "Heroes" and I won't own "Heroes" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: sex.
Word Count: 1805
Status: one-shot, finished
Author's Note: written for the heroes anon kink meme at perdiccas's lj. reposting here.
Summary: anon kink meme needs no summary!

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Title: A Jack Knifed Juggernaut (I am born again)
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG-13ish
Fandom: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Characters: Cameron, John Connor, Sarah Connor, Derek Reese
Pairings: none.
Genre: gen
Spoilers: up to and including the season 2 premiere
Disclaimer: I don't own "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" and I won't own "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: approximately 7500
Status: one-shot, finished
Author's Note: title taken from Radiohead's "Airbag" (the John Connor song); section headers are taken from dialog in season 2 episode 1 and are in italics. Thanks to fridge_buzz_now for encouragement.
Summary: Cameron watches Battlestar Galactica, paints her nails, puts on her sunglasses, and successfully executes the protection of John Connor.

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Title: glasshouse
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: MA (hard smut)
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Characters: Starbuck, Leoben
Pairings: Kara/Leoben
Genre: pwp
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I don't own "Battlestar Galactica" and I won't own "Battlestar Galactica" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: smut!
Word Count: about 1000
Status: one-shot, finished
Author's Note: originally written for oxoniensis's porn battle archived here, but the original version was too long and I had to shorten it to fit. this is the intended version.
Summary: get swept under
denial

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Title: more than much more is or
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: R-ish
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Characters: Billy, Leoben, cylons
Pairings: Billy/Leoben
Genre: dark
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: I don't own "Battlestar Galactica" and I won't own "Battlestar Galactica" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none
Word Count: about 1900
Status: one-shot, finished
Author's Note: (some housekeeping. I wrote this and forgot to make it public.) written for pumahmistress, because I love her. two sonnets are used that are not mine. the first is by ee cummings, and the second is by shakespeare. (title is a fragmented bit from the same ee cummings sonnet, too) and betaed by the super fantastic woolly_socks
Summary: Instead of being dead, like he had expected, Billy Keikeya found himself awake on a Basestar.

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Title: For Our Own Benefit
Author: arenotvalid aka smercy
Rating: PG
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica, Star Wars
Characters: Yoda, Apollo, Adama, Roslin
Pairings: none
Genre: gen
Spoilers: BSG: up to 3.17, "Maelstrom", Star Wars up to "The Empire Strikes Back", kind of.
Disclaimer: I don't own "Battlestar Galactica" or "Star Wars" and I won't own "Battlestar Galactica" or "Star Wars" and I won't make any money from this.
Warnings: none.
Word Count: 3828
Status: one-shot, finished
Author's Note: some housekeeping. written for the multiverse5000 challenge. written for voleuse, who wanted BSG and Yoda.
Summary: A mistake, an abomination in the Force.

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